The allsorts tounament
by Gospel of anime
Summary: The cell games have begun, just not as you'd expect it to!
1. It's called a Funvee

**_Disclaimer:_**

**_I do not own Naruto, Dragon ball Z or any of their characters. They are all licenced by Funimation._**

_(I do however, have a dog named Akakmaru :3)_**_  
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**Chapter 1**

** Unexpected visitors**

"…_the cell games are just minutes from starting, and with nobody else at the scene, __Mr.__Satan__ will have to_-" The news reporter was interrupted by sound of landing 10 metres from where cell stood.

"Ah, Vegeta. I thought you would have learned your lesson by now…" Cell said aloud.

"_He doesn't look any different… I wonder how much he could have improved…" _Cell thought. The nervous reporter walked over to Vegeta.

"E-excuse me, but are you here for the t-tournament?"

"Shut up and don't talk to me again."

"F-fine" The reporter mumbled.

He began walking over to Hercule. "He's a bit of weirdo. His hairs weird too."

Hercule cleared his throat. "Well, some people just don't get it do they?"

"W-well…it appears n-nobody else is-" Yet again he was interrupted by 7 people who had flown down like the last guy. 2 blondes, one triclops, a green dude and scarred guy. "_What a group of freaks_." He thought. Piccolo then looked straight at him _"You're the freak." _The reporter almost screamed. "Well then it seems the cell games has finally-" Cell began. He was interrupted by a jeep, wait…no, 3 jeeps. They stopped just outside the ring. The driver of the first jeep jumped out. He had silver hair, a headband pulled down over his left eye and he wore a face mask. (No prizes for guessing who it is!)

"My name is Kakashi Hatake and I would like to participate in your tournament." He said as politely as he could. The boot popped open.

"Me too!" yelled a orange and blue boy with blonde hair. He also appeared to have whisker tattoos on his cheeks.

"Dammit, Naruto! I told you to stay at home!" Kakashi shouted, and then noticed something.

"Is that…ramen?" He eyed the noodles suspiciously.

"I was hungry!"

"It's all over the inside!"

"I'll clean it off when we get back!"

"You'd better!"

Suddenly the door of the second jeep opened. It was a Hummer.

"I hope you don't mind if I brought Lee along, do you? Asked a man with a green stretch suit and a jacket similar to Kakashi's. The boy named Lee was Identical in looks to the green guy.

"See Kakashi sensei? He brought Lee wit him!"

"It was Gai's choice."

"You're no fun, Kakashi sensei! I liked Iruka better!"

"Shut up, Naruto! You're getting stares from the other people."

"Let them stare! All you do is read Icha Icha para-" He couldn't finish his sentences because Kakashi had covered his mouth and smiled in embarrassment at the other group.

The reporter walked up to them. " Are you entering the cell games too?"

"Don't forget abot us!" yelled a pink haired girl. She was followed by a blonde girl, another girl white huge grey eyes and black hair, a rather large kid wht what appeared to be underpants on his head and he was followed by a teenager with a puppy.

"You're all entering the tournament!" Yelled the reporter.

"YES" Everyone yelled.

"But you can't! You don't get it! Just because it's called the cell games means its actually a game!"

"Your the one that doesn't get it." Muttered Krillin.

"The cell games has begun" yelled cell, only to be interrupted by a raven haired boy. He had a blue t-shirt wih an enormous collar and khaki shorts.

"I want to enter!" he said in a dark tone.

"Sasuke!" Yelled Naruto and Sakura.

"Can we finally begin?"

Everyone either nodded or shrugged. Kakashi had already started reading his little book.

"Good!" Cell declared.

* * *

"Whoever wants to fight may do as they please..." Cell said plainly.

"That'll be me, seeing as I'm the obvious choice!" Hercule stated smugly.

**_"Hercule has entered the ring...he's taking off his world champion belt! But what's this? He's thrown a capsule...15 tiles has come out the capsule. Is he going to...oh I think he is!"_**

_"What's he even proving?" _Thought Sasuke.

"I did 200 this morning..." said Lee.

"What a moron" thought Kiba.

"Bark" yelled akamaru, which meant _"What a doucheag!"_

Hercule cat thought the tiles, only leaving 1 tile left.

_**"Oh no! He missed on tile! But what a remarkable effort."**_

"See these tile Cell?" Yelled Hercule. "This is what you're gonna look like after I'm done with you!"

_"Maybe he's hiding his strenght. Making Cell believe he's an idiot..."_ Gai thought._  
_

_**Two minutes later...**_

_"Nah, didn't think so." _though Gai.

"Hey, Tienshinhan!" Yamacha whispered.

"What?"

"If I belived he could save the world I'd feel pretty screwed right now."

They both stiffled a laugh.

"I guess I'll go first!" yelled Naruto.

"Whatever..." muttered Cell.

"Begin!" shouted the reporter.


	2. Can you hear the clones melt?

Chapter 2

Fatal threesome

"How marvellous, they send a mere boy to fight me…sarcasm really is the lowest form of wit."

Naruto nearly burst a vein. "You take that back! I'll defeat you and become Hokage! Believe it!"

"Oh, please. I'll be dancing on your corpse before you can say teabag."

"Raaaaagghh!" He screamed. He ran up to cell, before being interrupted by Hinata.

She had been using her byuakugan and sensed Cell's enormous chakra level.

"Naruto, you can't defeat him, His chakra is one hundred times greater than yours!"

Cell chuckled and stared at Naruto. The fox boy was in shock and couldn't breathe.

All the colour drained from Naruto's face as cell fazed out and reappeared in front of him charging a ball of chi.

"Bye-bye." was all Cell said before pressing it into Naruto's chest.

There was a huge explosion that covered the entire ring.

The smoke cleared and only Cell remained. Cell chuckled. There was a slight pause, followed by a russling in the bushes nearest to the ring.

"**RASENGAN!"**

Suddenly there was a whoosh and Naruto came flying out of a nearby bush with a rasengan charging in his hand. Two other Naruto's also had rasengans.

Cell turned in a rotating movement. He kept spinning until the rasengans flew out of the doppelgangers hands. A twister engulfed Cell and the tiles of the ring began to crumble and fly off the ground. Suddenly, Cell moved anti clock-wise and all the rubble flew towards Naruto at considerable speed.

He dodged them with difficulty. One cut his shoulder deeply.

"Is…that all…you…got." Said Naruto, too proud to admit he was about to faint.

Hinata couldn't take any more. "I would like to team up with Naruto against Cell. Is that OK?" She asked nervously.

"I should think so." Said Cell.

Hinata joined Naruto's side.

"What the hell are you doing!" Whispered Naruto.

"He'll pulverise you."

"No he won't."

"He hasn't used any chakra yet."

"Say what?"

"I think he got bored after the shadow clone."

"Dammit."

Veins started pulsing rapidly on each sides of her eyes.

"All his chakra seems to be stored in his head. I'll distract him while you charge up a rasengan and hit him in the head."

"Thanks Hinata."

Naruto was about to sneak behind Cell, before Hinata asked him: "Oh, and Naruto?"

He looked over his shoulder. "What?" There was a pause.

She played with her fingers and looked at her shoes nervously. "I…I…um…good luck."

"Uh…thanks?" He looked at her for a full minute.

Cell obviously heard their entire conversation.

"_Well, well. This could be interesting…"_

Hinata walked in plain view of Cell as Naruto slipped behind her.

"Hey you!"

"Me?" Cell answered in fake amazement.

"Yes you. You're so ugly; you can push your face in dough and make monster cookies!"

Cell's eyes widened in rage.

"Just leave us alone you insect creep!"

"Leave the world alone...or you and the boy alone._.._"

Hinata flinched and started blushing until she looked like a tomato. Cell had hit a sensitive point.

Cell momentarily forgot of the fox boy's hand glowing immensely with a blue light and running up one of the rings spires. Cell's eyes darted from Hinata's mocking face and looked up to see the blue light a split second before it enveloped him. Naruto backflipped off Cell in pure elegance and momentum. Cell now looked person with no neck and his...pointy _things _were bent and snapped. He looked like a midget-pope-bug thingy.

Cell's cry of pain was reduced to a muffle.

"We did it!" shouted Naruto.

Hinata stared at Cell's floating body. She turned pale and started to shake in fear.

"Uh-oh." Was all she could say.

Cell's upper half grew back until it looked as if nothing happened.

Naruto's jaw dropped.

"We're screwed."

"I-indeed." Hinata blew the loose hair from her albino face.

Of course she knew it was pointless fighting this green titan. His broad and agile stature was perfect in evryway, and his chakra really wasn't letting him down. She looked at Naruto with grey oval pupils. A single thought crossed her mind. It was now or never. She was about to pull him towards her, but instead she pushed him back as Cell let a spinning gold disc soar between them, cutting the rim of her jacket. The elastic escimo suit split and fell off, revealing a blue t-shirt. But it wasn't the t-shirt that caught everyones attention. They all gasped them. Ino looked down.

_"They're bigger than mine!"_

A single thought also crossed Naruto's mind.

_"Boing..." _He almost gaped at them.

Cell shook his head in dissapointment. These humans were only interested in one thing.

"Umm...I c-can't f-f-fight like this!" Hinata squealed. Everyone was staring at them. She felt like a total freak.

"Whatever. Just get to the exciting fighters already. I'm sarting to get so bo-"

Cell was cut across by 2 green blurs who landed in front of him, also dropping a rather large stereo that boomed an atrocious tune. They spoke in unision.

**"WE ARE THE GREEN BEAUTIFUL BEASTS OF KONOHAKAGURE!"**

They then preformed a series of poses that would make the ginyu force and team rocket turn in shame.

Kakashi closed his single eye and tried not to notice the horrible anthem that came form guys stereo as he hid his fce behind the erotic graphic novel.

_"Here we go..."_


End file.
